Only 19% of us will get to experience love before we die, and most who do can barely tell the difference between true love and abuse. The worst part is being able to understand that, giving up a dream of forever with someone and having the courage to leave can be more complicated than it seems.
The period of detaching from an abusive partner’s grip is the most dangerous time for a victim. You need to take back control of your life and have the power to make conscious and self-preserving decisions about your life.
When a victim leaves, they are taking control and threatening the abusive partner’s power, which could cause the abusive partner to retaliate in very destructive ways. There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, here are just a few of the common ones.
Many times than not, you are bound to your oppressor with strings not easily cut. Often, such partners are often charming during the initial stages of the relationship selling the dream of love, eventually ensnaring the victim who is then trapped unable to leave. You want the violence to end, not for the relationship to end entirely. They share a life together.
Fear of persecution, by friends and family, fear of your abusive partners, should you decide to leave.
Our growing environment greatly affects our perspective on what might actually be a healthy relationship. An environment where abuse was common would many times the victim develops Stockholm Syndrome believing that was the way they showed their love to them.
Religion and Culture
Traditional gender roles supported by someone’s culture or religion may influence you to stay in this toxic environment rather than end the relationship because of where they stand on certain matters such as divorce.
When you are entirely financially dependent on your abusive partner, you many times than not feel that your well-being is dependent on them. This may influence your decision to walk out of the relationships.
Undocumented Immigrants may find themselves victims as reporting the abuse may affect their immigration status.
Oftentimes, people in emotionally abusive relationships may not understand as there is any violence involved. It is often downplayed and dismissed often giving the victim a feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness.
Abusive partners are masters of cleaning up their mess. After every abusive incident, it is followed by a make-up honeymoon phase, doing something nice, and feigning remorse simultaneously promising never to do that again.
We have put too much pressure on being in ‘perfect’ relationship, through social media, religions, and cultures making us endure the turmoil of being the one who walked away.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Too much exposure to abuse impacts are grievous, the victim may not be able to disassociate themselves with the abuse. At this stage, the victim starts to show signs of stress.
Here is more on PTSD.
Abusive relationships take a toll on individuals altering not only their way of life but also thought process. Be wary not only of physical abuse but also emotional abuse. Get control of your life, begin again, restructure for love is beautiful, and I hope you get to experience that someday, but first, leave.